Sometimes, the mother and daughter bond is so deep, it goes
beyond words.
When
Penelope Niven and daughter Jennifer Niven tell each other --- “I love you more
than words,” many people will recognize the fact that even Webster’s dictionary
may not hold enough words to describe that love because both mother and
daughter are published authors. What makes the Nivens’ bond so deep is how they
actively participate in and nurture each other’s lives. These valuable lessons go
deeper than their connection as writers.
However strong mother and daughter relationships
are a part of the Nivens’ heritage. Penny offers, “Jennifer and I have a very
deep spiritual sense, we come from a line of very strong women. The Niven women
in general are very strong dynamic women; there are just dozens of us, so
perhaps some of that is genetic.”
Sometimes
the best lessons in life really do come from our mothers. It has only been a
few weeks since Penelope Niven’s mother passed away (sic: March 2003), and it
is these lessons that have helped to see Penny through this difficult time. “Getting
to know my mother as a woman and friend as well as my mother grew and grew year
by year. My mother taught me to cherish the imagination and to be my full self.
These were lessons of a woman’s strength. My mother was a person who could do
all those things in a time when women weren’t quite so adventurous. She was a
pioneer in that when I was growing up in the 1950’s she was already able
expertly to balance family and a career as a teacher. I had so much admiration
and respect for both my parents and for the way they handled that last phase of
the journey of life. They made deep peace with life and when you can do that,
you don’t have to make peace with death.”
Penelope Niven also became a teacher,
and is a Professor of English at Salem
College in addition to
being a published author. She always knew she wanted to be a writer and credits
her early development, recalling the exact moment at the age of five when knew
she wanted to be a writer: “I can still see how those black marks looked and
that I knew then that I would be able to read words and then write words. I
went home and said I just needed to get busy and learn how to write today.” It was not until after she
turned forty that writing would become her other life work.
The catalyst
for her writing career was a trip to Connemara, the home of Carl Sandburg in Flat
Rock. Sandberg’s home had just opened to the public. This initial endeavor was as
a volunteer to help organize over 30,000 Sandburg papers. While there she met
Lucy Kroll who was Carl Sandburg’s agent. These two events opened the door for
her and she wrote Carl Sandburg: a
Biography which was published in
1991. From this she co-authored with James Earl Jones, Voices and Silences. As an outgrowth of the Sandburg biography she
wrote, Steichen: a Biography.
Steichen was Carl Sandburg’s brother-in-law and a pioneer as well as one of the
foremost photographers of the last century. Other books include a children’s
book on Sandburg, a soon to be released biography on Thornton Wilder and her
newest book Swimming Lesson’s, which
is not about swimming but about living your life and learning to live, and will
come out next spring.
Her daughter, Jennifer Niven however,
is her pride and joy. Penny states that some of the best lessons in life, she
learned from her daughter; “I have the most marvelous daughter ever - on earth and on this planet. Jennifer and I
have always had such a friendship in addition to our mother daughter bond which
is very, very deep. She is my finest work of art and I’ll never be anything
better or more joyful or more significant than being Jennifer’s mother.”
Growing up
as the daughter of a writer was an advantage for Jennifer Niven. As a child,
her mother would set a small desk next to her bigger one and they would have
writing times together. Jennifer tells us; “At first I said oh this is fun,
we’re having writing time though it was probably more about me then her when we
were sitting side by side together. Later I realized it was as much for her as
it was for me.” Deciding that writing would also become Jennifer’s life work came
at the age of 19 when she traveled with her mother who was then working with
James Earle Jones on location in Louisiana while he was filming the movie,
“Convict.”
Jennifer would travel with her mother and do
things with her that normal kids did not do such as meet many famous people. “I
had dabbled in short story writing and play writing but I had never really
thought about writing for television or for film. Being on that set with James
Earl Jones and in that atmosphere really excited me. It was my first real
first-hand experience and shortly after that I went to film school and studied
screen writing.”
After
completing college, Jennifer received her MFA in writing and moved to
California where she became a screen writer. She won an Emmy for a short film
called Velva Jean Learns how to Drive,
based on a story written by her mother. Jennifer Niven’s first novel, The Ice Master: the Doomed 1913 Voyage of
the Karluk was named one of the top ten nonfiction books of 2000. Her new
novel, Ada Blackjack, a sequel to The Ice Master will be released in fall
of 2003.
Jennifer credits her mother for always telling
her, “You can do anything you put your mind to, you can be anything you want to
be, and to never ever sell yourself short or to settle for less. She always
taught me to dream big and that was one of the most valuable things I ever
learned and it certainly has helped me to shape my life. My mother has always
given me unconditional love and inspired me to do whatever I wanted to do. If I
were to have a daughter, I would hope to be as wonderful a mother as my mom is
to me. One of the main reasons I would have a child, would be to give back some
of what my mom has given to me because she has been the most incredible mother.”
Penelope
Niven says that the work of parenting is one of the most important works on
earth. “Building a strong relationship with children is increasingly difficult
for young mothers. They do not always have the time that they need to be
totally present for their children. This is not their fault but an impact of
the economy and our society. The importance for mothers and fathers is to be
able to be present in their children’s lives. You have to work harder to carve
out the time. I think about my mother and that we lived in a much slower pace
of time and we were able to find balance and true communication. This is a
reason my daughter and I talk on the phone every day – it is as necessary as
breathing.”
